The seal has been BROKEN...

...and you know what happens next, right? Recollect back in the 90's (for those of you party animals who grew up those times) when you were at a house-party and you would NOT 'break the seal' by peeing because if you did, you'd spent the rest of the party going to the washroom?

Literally, the dam had broken wide open for me. My mojo-tivation was BACK, my creative juice. Hellujah!

Since July, I had lost all sense of perception and focus - everything. I was lost in space, floating aimlessly - struggling to find that je ne sais quoi that started my journey back into arts. It was such a blow because I was in such a roll with this blog, new paintings being sold in a store, new commissioned artworks, the website and forays into digital work again. Sweet Appalachians! You know what this does to a gal? I was devastated.

So, out of nowhere, last week, an inclination to just sit down and start working on my website with the logo/banner and breaking down codes for my website etc. Suddenly, I felt amazing and frankly, would not have been surprised if a choir of Angels showed up and started singing “Ahhh”!

Looking back, I realized that possibly, I may have been burnt out and started shutting down a tad with all the many things that was happening all at once.

Back in July, my full time job was getting very, very challenging and I was facing some personal issues with my partner - compounded into that, I am a single parent and the sole supporter and provider.

I could recall coming home and having just enough emotional juice to be aware and present for my son. And after dinner had been cooked and had, things washed and tidied, conversations and checking of the kid's day and homework, I was spent. I could barely wink. I was physically and mentally fatigued, and this was no way to a wonderful, artistic experience.

And somewhere between those moments, I lost myself. I lost my art.

But no longer.

I learnt, that often times, day to day stresses’ of life will indeed get in the way. But to not be discouraged or lose faith. I see now that the shutdown was my Spirit's way of rebooting itself. I am re-charged and sassy now!

So what is new on the plate now? Besides the website and logo/banner (see the blog's banner I updated last week), I am excited to continue with my Art A day experiment - and of course, my 2011 Halloween static card. No Flash animated card this year again, my Mac is down and so is the Flash on it!

Till Soon. Chin up and out!

T

Side note: You might be wondering why I used the ‘seal has been broken’ allegory? I think I had to pee real bad when I started writing this…

Side note 02: Talking about those house parties - I remembered when we gurls had to pee, we would go in groups of three's because, for some bizarre reason, there would never be any door at these places. So, two would guard the door, while the third....well peed! Secretly, I think the boys would remove them on purpose.

If you draw it, they will come…

...obviously a mis-quote from one of my favorite books/movie.

As I am writing this, I am in a moving vehicle otherwise affectionately known as the 'Vomit Rocket' (Toronto’s public transit, the TTC). I am feeling somewhat overwhelmed by the prospects of what I will need to do - plot, plan and produce my goals this summer. I have many goals but I believe they are within my realistic horizon – one of them is getting back into multimedia graphic works.

Recently, I donated some digital work to two non-profit organizations, and from that network, I have my first paying gig, digital-drawing an ‘idea’ being patented.

Plot…plan…produce….I’m getting there!

Now…to physical hand labor jaunts. I have noted of some of the artists I follow on twitter has adopted an ‘art a day’ mantra. One even goes as far as managing her one a day art to only 10 mins.

Bloody brilliant idea!

I’m starting today...at lunch time. Zombie drawing works for me...

T

It's Bachannal time for Dead!

I am Artist, hear me RAW...er ROAR!

My creativity's been schumpling and it has been an unkind time. I sense the horizon, the silver lining, the gold cigar...but no winning ribbon. This seemingly endless lack of the creative spark can be quite...daunting.

Enough! I realized sitting and schumpling won't get me anywhere. I need to get out of this 'linear thinking' and go where the rainbow is and bust some skittles.

So - iPhone photo app Instagram - it's my new thing to do looking for inspirations any and everywhere. I'm up and about taking pictures, then a little of artistic-editing mojo....ta-da! Magic!

Liberation

Eye of the Beholder

Swimming in Grass

Opening my eyes through the this little 'pin-hole' in my iPhone, has opened me up to big colors, feelings and expressions...all powerful energies that can awake a sleeping Artist...ROAR!

Was also at a recent art show opening call "Raw Me" [http://www.bezpalabrown.com/exhibitions/view/June2011] - wow! Incredible! The imagery I felt, sensed, understood, not understood was jarring - what the doctor ordered.

A eureka moment - I needed more art, more artists, more connections, whether inspirational or offensive or inspirationally offensive. I needed to strip down to the rawness of my creative spark to force me to awake...RAW!

Change and challenge is better than the alternative because complacency....man, that just kills!

I am Artist. Hear me ROAR RAW!

Fresh sights...sites...cites in new works.

Website.

[brain-sic begins]
...websites/design/pages/how?/paintings?/sections/flow/illustrations/print/books/macputer/software/macputerdead/crap/graphics/tattoos/animation/e-card store/macputerdead/crap....[pause]woah,waitamin,whatsgoingonhere.....crap
[brain-sic ends]

What are my real intentions? Had it changed?

On ruminating my master-web design ideas, I came to realize that I LOVE creating art...of any kind. That not only do I want to do and sell paintings, I want to seriously get back into new-media arts as well.

I was a full-time Multimedia designer. I suppose...I still sort of am but my roles have changed and are more stretched out. At work, I usually refer myself as Girl Friday. But I digress...

So, I want to do all kinds of art.

Just recently, by chance, I was given several opportunities to work with two non-profit organizations that needed some online graphic works. Boy!!! So much fun. It really reminded me how much I love this medium.

I also really miss animating with Flash. A few years back, for fun, I had designed/animated e-cards for special days. It started in 2007; I had wanted to sent out a Halloween e-card but could not find anything that was funny or original. I suddenly realized...hey, why don't I just make one up? My friends loved the e-card. I started making a bunch. BOOM! An idea - one day I want an e-card store. People all over the web can use my e-cards. My e-card store would have unusual designs and be called 'Can we still be friends?'....hahahahah!!

Below is a static e-card I made. It was hand-drawn and scanned and colored digitally!! Beware readers...I do have an odd sense of humor.



A Halloween E-card 2010



Guess in some way, I have evolved, and so will this Blog. I and Blog will unfurl our wings. Don't worry....my focus is still painting...just gonna do some sub-art.

I suppose I should update the banner and add somewhere on it, "...and other art stuff..."?

T

Tic, tac, toe'd...

(Fyi: Below was written about April 28 – managed just enough backbone to overcome a smidgen of procrastination....much)

It's been a month since the gallery show. What an awesome experience! There is something to be said about having your paintings on display in an art show. It's almost like eating freshly baked bread with a good cup of Earl Grey, or getting a Guinness (er possibly a few) with friends at my local pub. There is such a satisfying feeling about it.






My First art gallery show - with two of my paintings.
The painting closer to the foreground won 'People's Choice Award'

So the 'experience'? There's about an hour or so of awkwardness. I really did not know what to expect. Beyond making sure your painting is hung to your liking and the pricing is correct, you are mostly skulking (and honestly, trying to look cool and nonchalant) around your paintings and at the reception, chit chatting about your paintings...you know sharing with visitors about the vision...'the idea'...


“…the idea came from this deep sated need to establish the connection...”

...yabba-dabba-doo and so on.

Highlights? Besides having the paintings up, I met a few fabulous artists. It's interesting to observe how each one started with their creative flow. I met an amazing artist who was showcasing her works on sunflowers!! She is like me in some ways. She works in a Corporate world thought moreso in the Financial side. She has been doing painting for 10 years! Wow! Loved her and her works. It's quite Van Gogh-ish but not sure she'd appreciate the comparisons. I suppose all artist wants to feel original...(quietly noting Picasso's quote, "good artists borrows, great artist steals')

So what next?

I have tic'ed. I have tac'ed. I have toe'd! Website's next.

T

Suffering for art is a good thing... really!!!

I'm bleary-eyed, my brain feels like mush, and my painting fingers is somewhat curled, frozen in a witchy way...but I swear, I'm living the dream.

I am done with the paintings...well kinda. I assume as an artist, art pieces are never done to the point when you are satisfied? Or maybe I'll outgrow that too....?

So...less than 48 hours from my first art gallery show - will be showcasing two art pieces. Just sent photos and details of it to one of the co-curators. He just emailed asking me to sent the pricing of the paintings, should it get sold.

WHAT?? How surreal is that?? Glad my brain is feeling mushy or the shock of it might just give me a brain hemorrhage.

Well...till Saturday - will blog more about the pre and post process!!

T
ps- Did I mention a lady, who is looking to buying some art pieces for her building may come down to check stuff out? Lordy....

wHaT?? ... HoW'd tHiS HaPpENed?

Guess what? I am participating in my first art gallery show....this coming February, last weekend.

What? How'd this happened? Kept asking the same question myself. All I know was that about a year ago, I declared to the Universe my intention of wanting to have my first art gallery show.

A busy month ahead will write more...

I guess this art thingie is getting serious...I think I should take more *art classes*.

T